Ain’t love grand?

I’m going to be honest. As I sit here at my computer on Valentine’s Eve, I find myself (for once) lost for words. You see, after 11 consecutive years of writing some kind of ode to love, love in Ibiza, the loveless in Ibiza, being loved-up in Ibiza, love for Ibiza, anti-Valentines, love to all beings, loves lost, love being in the air, all the single ladies, finding Valentine’s gifts in Ibiza, things to do on Valentine’s Day in Ibiza and well, all kinds of other V.Day and love related topics, this year I simply have nothing to say on the subject of Valentine’s Day. And so I turned to my good friend Google for some inspiration.

Whenever I’m a bit stuck for words, I find song lyrics can usually encourage some kind of inspiration. As do movie titles. I instantly clicked with My Funny Valentine and started concocting a sweet little soliloquy dedicated to my kooky little cat, but then common sense stopped me in my tracks. Those are the kind of journal entries we crazy cat ladies must always keep to ourselves. Though… if you could see her, I’m sure you’d also fall completely head over heels in love with her too. *quietly books photographer for cat portrait session for next V.Day’s blog*

OK, so let’s keep scrolling. My Bloody Valentine is the next one that piques my interest but I’m not sure the world needs to read a blog dedicated to my love of slasher flicks on V.Eve (or does it? DM me for more gory details!). And then I landed on Blue Valentine. Ahhh Ryan Gosling. Even when he’s as messed up as his character in that dark, dark Oscar-nominated movie, he’s still every girl’s (single, coupled, married and dare I say possibly even gay) dream Valentine. Now there’s a topic I know my good friend Miss S would LOVE to read about – an entire blog singing the virtues of that beautiful baby-faced Gosling, who doesn’t seem to have aged a bit since that movie was made almost a decade ago. But then I circle back to the question I often ask myself when penning these blogs, what relevance does he have to Ibiza? (RG, if you’re reading, please come and visit us so we can make you relevant enough to write about next V.Day!) Sigh.

Back to the drawing board. Which, in this case was a message board where I contact my fellow writer Miss L in despair about my case of writer’s block. She instantly obliges with a plethora of ideas to use as a base, such as the fact Ibicenco men would play the flute near the houses of girls they wished to court, but they’d hide in the bushes so they wouldn’t be seen (pretty silly plan if you ask me – like sending an anonymous card: what’s the point? I’d want the glory). She also floated the idea of drawing a parallel with Ibiza’s well-known god of dance, Bes, with Valentine’s Day traditions of love and indulgence, which was a great one, until I started researching it and found out it had previously been written on another website!

Then we started talking about the fact that Valentine was indeed a Saint, and I began to wonder why – on an island where almost every single area is named after a saint – we don’t have a village called San Valentin in Ibiza? Seems the poor old Roman Catholic saint just wasn’t in luck when it came to doling out geographical areas on the white isle, though Miss L tells me there are 15 towns in the USA which are indeed named after him, Google tells me I should head to France for the ultimate St Valentin village experience and I also have vague memories of visiting a small backwater suburb named Valentine near Lake Macquarie in Australia during my childhood. I’m digressing…

Let’s face it, it’s not like Saint Valentine was all that lucky anyway: the guy was beheaded, after a beating with clubs and stones failed to kill him. Light bulb above the head moment! I finally see the connection between the patron saint of tomorrow’s big love fest and my favourite slasher flick! There was certainly no love lost there. [Side note: The remains of the V man himself are actually deposited in St Anton’s Church in Madrid just a short plane ride away from Ibiza in case anyone cares to visit him tomorrow.]

Miss L’s final contribution to my pot of V.Day blog ideas was one that I must admit I got a kick out of. And while it’s not technically in Ibiza, it’s a Valentine’s Day treat that’s available to women and men all over the globe and accessible via satellite so I think it’s well worth writing about. Especially for Valentine’s Day, the El Paso Zoo has created a genius Facebook campaign, where followers can opt to name a giant hissing cockroach after their ex-partner, which will then be fed to a meerkat. The feast is going to be streamed live via webcam tomorrow at 2.15pm.

Slightly more twisted than Blue Valentine, possibly more macabre than Saint V’s execution and just the comments alone on the post are more entertaining than any slasher flick could ever hope to be. Turns out while I was lost for words on what to say about Valentine’s Day, there are around 6.5k people out there who were ready just to let their thoughts rip. Ain’t love grand? Meerkats are pretty damn cute too. Look at him below, just waiting for his deliciously crunchy cockroach feast tomorrow. But judging by the viral success of that campaign, they’re going to need more meerkats!