Ibiza life coaching: Positive Reframes


Photography by Ana Lui

How would you like to be able to turn sticky situations into positive experiences that actually do feel good? Would you like to feel strong and empowered when managing tricky relationships? Wouldn’t it be nice to be able to turn things around, by being able to enjoy the lighter sides of each challenge in life? Because every cloud has a silver lining…

Positive Reframes are the art of giving dark, dirty, uncomfortable and unhappy (or embarrassing) situations a silver frame – to highlight the positive aspects and opportunities for learning, growth, success and happiness. It is an artistic NLP (Neuro Linguistic Programming) technique used to shed light on even the stickiest matters, by reframing situations in a new, different or specifically focused light so we can see them in new ways.

As the song goes, ‘Always look on the bright side of life’!

How you feel is more important than anything else. When you feel good, life is good. Simple. Basic. True.

NLP recognises that how you choose to look at situations dramatically changes the way that you feel – instantly – because your thoughts create your feelings, which in turn stimulate your actions and behaviours. The repercussions of this become your experience in the world around you.

So your power to shed light on situations, to get some good ‘ah-has!’ rather than ‘oh nooooo not agains!’ is in your hands, in your eyes, or, as your perspective makes the difference here, in your mind’s eyes to be precise!

It is all about looking at the situation in a different frame, taking it out of the context you are looking at it in and placing it in another. For example, if you are taking something very personally, which triggers lots of blame, hurt, discomfort, pain and other heavy, low vibration emotions – you can take that ‘something’ out of the personal frame and place it in another. Now look at the situation in new and positive ways, from a professionally reframed perspective, from a philosophically framed perspective and, even better, from a learning or appreciative perspective.

Emails are a brilliant example. So often meaning is totally misconstrued due to how we are already feeling (based on our past experiences of that relationship/situation/communication).

So take an email and notice how you are feeling about it right now.

Now place it in a different frame – look at it purely in a positive aspect – as if you are shining a light purely on the areas for learning and growth, for example, when receiving an email where you feel hurt, not recognised or as if the other person needs to appreciate you more, some learnings may be:

  • I have realised I feel inadequate in this relationship and that is why I resent the other person
  • I know I actually have a lot to offer and give and just have to recognise this
  • I can ask a good friend to help me recognise my best qualities and in thinking about them that is already helping me feel better about myself now!

Now notice the differences in how you are feeling. How does this change the way you want to react? What are you going to differently?

The benefits of Positive Reframes are especially brilliant in:

  • Small Businesses, where personal and professional goals can become very blurred!
  • Teams and team building, for setting up a frame for a meeting, so everyone focuses their attention in the same way ie; setting an outcome frame or a feedback frame
  • Setting a solutions frame’, which can help others to see obstacles as opportunities (and ways to overcome them)
  • Transforming your relationships
  • Boosting your own self-confidence and self-worth, teaching you about yourself and what you need to think to feel good!

For further details or a personal one to one consultation, contact Radiance Wellness and Life Coaching