The thing about Es Ram…

All in the name of research. Of course, Miss W was invited to join them… and when my home away from home option was Formentera’s amazing Es Ram Resort, well, how could I possibly say no?

Don’t get too jealous now – unfortunately (for me!) I was only to be a guest at Es Ram for a couple of days – it’s a bit hard to be the eyes and ears of Ibiza all the way over in Formentera now isn’t it? But then again, once you’ve experienced the laidback, low-key luxury of Es Ram, it’s pretty tempting to jump ship (or island as the case may be). Let me explain…

I was frazzled when I arrived at Es Ram. Having caught the early ferry to Formentera that day, I’d been in and out of meetings for hours – yes, some people do indeed do business in Formentera – and traversing the island in a hire car with the air con on full due to the peak August heat outside. And then, we drove up what seems to be the only mountain in Formentera, w-a-a-y up to the top, only do go back down again, along a bumpy, dusty trail through a beautiful pine forest, which ultimately led to the place I’d been dreaming of alllllll day.

Hello Es Ram Resort, I’m very pleased to meet you…

We were met by suave hotel manager Javier (‘no, no, leave all your luggage, we’ll have that taken to your room for you immediately’ – I LOVE this place already), followed by a super friendly personal greeting from the hotel’s close-knit team of staff, a team of young, professional, switched on, well-traveled, multi-lingual and more importantly, really cool people I instantly wanted to make friends with. I could feel myself actually getting that authentic HOLIDAY feeling… under the influence of the calm nature of everyone around me, not to mention the truly breathtaking surroundings.

Lush pine trees, gorgeous idyllic views across the Mediterranean, a smattering of luxe, four-poster day beds across the resort’s grounds, a gorgeously chic and inviting swimming pool, even an outdoor gym – I hadn’t felt this close to nature since, well, never… There was that pesky ‘I’m-on-holiday’ again feeling, creeping over me like the beautiful bougainvillea on the walls of the main house finca-style building of the resort.

There are only 10 boho-chic suites at Es Ram and after a tour of the entire resort, I was absolutely dying to get to mine! It was still daylight and I wanted a quick costume change before heading to the chillout roof terrace for a sunset aperitivo.

Let me let you in on a little secret here: I have never, ever witnessed a Formentera sunset before because I have never, ever spent more than a day ashore. It’s just that I’m such an Ibiza girl, I can’t bear to leave my island for more than a day trip in summer… but right here, right now, as I opened the door to my room, I had an inkling that was all about to change (plus, the last ferry had already sailed. I had no choice but to stay!).

OK – so a quick debrief on the room. Gorgeous four-poster wooden bed, plush pillows, soft romantic lighting, huge bathroom, views to the treetops, amazing mirror that seemed to make me look über-thin and a bottle of champagne (yes, the real French stuff) and fruit platter awaited. Yes indeed, I could totally get used to this place, I thought to myself as I started envisioning myself becoming a true Formentera girl.

Costume change complete (full length kaftan in tribute to Formentera’s hippy heritage) and champagne totally quaffed, I ascended to the rooftop to meet my companions, who were already set up on big comfy daybeds, schmoozing with New York fashion royalty (I’m afraid I can’t name names) while sipping icy cold mojitos and admiring the view.

It was the very picture of laidback chic. And the very epitome of a holiday feeling. I quickly stuffed my notepad into my bag and set about the business of relaxation. Result achieved in approximately 32 seconds, three sips of a mojito and a bite of a freshly prepared canape!

Chillout music floated across the airwaves, intertwined with the sound of the sea crashing onto the rocky coastline below (a rarity in Ibiza) and as the sun began her descent into the sea (cue a teary emotional ‘I heart Formentera forever’ moment) we contemplated how to spend the night ahead. Personally, I wanted to dive into that big old bed and fall into dreamland, but there was the matter of hunger to attend to first.

The beauty of Es Ram Resort is that their kitchen and chef are ready, willing and on standby to rustle up anything (fresh, organic, healthy and hearty – the choice is yours) your heart desires. On top of that, the team are basically like your personal go-to-guide to Formentera’s best restaurants, having them all on speed dial and being able to arrange you the best tables whenever you wish.

Did I mention I could get used to this?

After an amazingly luxe dinner at the hotel’s sister restaurant Chezz Gerdi Chiringuito and a quick pass through the local club Tipic, it was back to Es Ram for the best night’s sleep of my life. That bed! I don’t know where they get them, but it was worth triple the price of a room for such comfort. Like a full body hug you really didn’t ever want to be released from. Until you discovered the path down to the secret beach, dotted with daybeds and like a little slice of heaven just perched on the edge of Formentera.

At the end of my stay however, I finally discovered the real problem with Es Ram Resort. The problem is, that two days is just not enough! Not even for a Formentera girl like me…