This is the end… really!

This is the end… really. Honestly. The home stretch. The last hurrah. The final push. If you read my blog about closing month last week, you’ll know that we’re halfway through the very last batch of Ibiza club closing parties (not to mention the countless restaurant, bar and hotel closings too) and if there’s one consistent subject that’s been popping up in my Facebook feed all week, it’s been about guest list etiquette.

Now, I’ve talked about this earlier in the year, but I thought it might be time for a little refresher course, dedicated to the closing parties in particular. So please, if you’re thinking about asking me, or any other of my friends-in-higher-than-podium-places who work in clubs, please keep the following in mind before sending a text, Facebook message or (worst of all) turning up on the door uninvited to one of the big closing parties this week, ask yourself the following questions before going ahead (huge thanks to Miss Z, an expert in fielding guest list requests, for her guidance on the following questions):

Does the person I am asking actually work in the club I want to go to? If the answer is no, you’ll want to think long and hard before asking (as well as continue to ask yourself the questions below) – guest lists to closing parties are EXTREMELY limited, and it’s not likely that friends of friends can be put onto them. If the person does indeed work at the club you want to go to, and you answer yes to some of the following questions, then why not try your luck?

How well do I know the person? Am I good mates with them? “If the answer is yes,” says Miss Z, “fire away, even though it might now always work out.” And if you’re not good buddies, have you ever done a massive favour for this person in the past? Obviously good friends, family and colleagues come first in the guest list hierarchy, however if you’ve ever helped your friends out of a pickle in the past, chances are they’ll remember it and try and help you out too. If the answer is ‘not very well’, see below. If your answer is no… forget asking.

Have I seen or contacted said person in the last six months for anything non-guest list related? Have you ever dropped them a text just to say hi, have you caught up for a drink or dinner, hung out at the beach or seen them out and about and had a good old chinwag or a dance? If yes, then maybe, just maybe, you’ll get lucky. If no… well, you know the answer already. If you have even the slightest feeling of being a bit cheeky to ask the favour, or even worse, a sense of guilt, save yourself the effort. The answer is N-O.

Is the party today? If the answer is yes, you should simply get your wallet out and buy a ticket now. “There’s no such thing as a discounted ticket I can sell you,” says another guest list guardian friend who shall remain nameless. “Just cut to the chase and ask me for guest list… or ask yourself why you’re coming to Ibiza during the closing party period if you’re on a budget?” Guest lists for closing parties usually close the day before the event… if you do happen to be in advance, and answered yes to some of the above questions, give it a shot.

A few other little words of wisdom. Don’t ever ask for guest list to a party you might not attend – you’re taking up valuable guest list space for someone who genuinely really wants to go, and your lack of attendance WILL be noted. Don’t ask for guest list just to show off and get your ‘plus 4’ holidaying friends through the door when they could have easily bought tickets. If someone does put you on a limited guest list, offer to buy them a drink to say thank you, and be sure to follow through (don’t just assume they have drinks tickets – even these are limited at the closings!). Don’t ever turn around and complain about the length of the guest list queue, or the small fee if you’ve been asked to pay one. Remember your call/text/email is most likely one of hundreds, so if we don’t answer within the next couple of hours, don’t pester us with follow-up calls/texts/emails to check we got your initial call/text/email, unless you really want to fall out of favour quickly.

Spare a thought for Ibiza’s guest list guardians in their final week of duty. And remember the golden rule – if your name’s not down, you’re not coming in…