If you know, you know…

What originally meant you had some kind of insider information, that you’re privy to some kind of knowledge only a few others had access to, that what you know just can’t be taught or learned, or that you’re a part of something quite secular, seems to have taken on the new meaning of: come to my party. There was one particular party who took it and made it their own at one point, and on the basis of the kinds of events they were throwing – on the DL, kind of secretive, guest list only, last minute location announcements etc – it was warranted. These days, that particular party, and the people behind it, are quite successful and as such, they’ve dropped the catchy little slogan. Why? Because EVERYONE knows. It’s no secret. In fact, it’s now quite commercial (and that’s totally ok – their gimmick worked, they moved on).

But this summer, I think I’ve read the words ‘if you know, you know’ more times than I’ve read ‘sorry for my delayed reply’ on an email (and if you live and work in Ibiza, you’ll know that’s quite some statement). Marco Carola is playing a 17-hour beach set – if you know, you know. We know, we know. We all know. We know exactly what happens when Marco Carola has his last Red Bull (ahem) at 6am and can’t get to sleep after his gigs wrap up. Ricardo Villalobos is back on the Amnesia terrace – if you know, you know. Yes, we know. It’s written right there on the billboard. OK, so maybe the fresh-faced island newbies don’t understand the significance of Ricky V wobbling around in the booth at 7am (will he or won’t he play a funeral march?) but they have the internet. They have memes. THEY KNOW. Top secret special guest DJ at [insert record label name here] villa party – if you know, you know. And if you don’t, it’s fairly easy to guess so if you want to see the face of that brand play one more time, you get yourself to the party. Because YOU KNOW. Full moon cave rave – if you know, you know. Maybe you do… or maybe someone just happened to WhatsApp you the location pin. Fresh figs ripe for the taking from a farm in San Miguel – wait, no, no one knows about that and I’m not going to tell them!

Now I’m not saying I’ve never read those words and instantly wanted to find out what it was I apparently didn’t know at the time. I’ve had my share of ‘dammit, why didn’t I know that earlier moments’ in Ibiza, for sure. But this summer, it’s like the phrase that cried wolf. There’s a new whizz-bang healer type person giving treatments and administering ancient plant medicine in the forest – if you know, you know. Nah, I’m good thanks. There’s a party with ‘authentic local vibes’ – if you know, you know. Possibly, but chances are it’s just the same as that other party the same people were promoting in the same location last month. Aliens above Es Vedra, mermaids below it – if you know, you know. Been there, done that, wrote the blog… What I DO I know is that I’m no longer intrigued by reading if you know, you know, or seeing the hashtag #ifyouknowyouknow. It’s lost its magic, its power, its potency, its magnetic pull. If anything, I feel like it’s become a little condescending or patronising this year, like if you DON’T know, you’re not welcome here rather than you’re invited to come and find out. But you know what I know? I know we need a new way to say if you know, you know… you know what I mean? Photos taken at… well, if you know, you know. And if you don’t, I’ll let you in on the secret – it’s Pikes.