What am I talking about? The closings are here! What was once considered ‘closing week’ now seems to have been extended to closing month. Which both thrills me and scares me, in equal parts. Or maybe 60/40. or 40/60. Ask me again in a week!

It all started last Thursday, with Cream – who, in their 20th year of clubbing wisdom, decided to throw a two-part closing special spanning two weeks (part two being tonight). Then it was Hard Rock Hotel Ibiza (via way of Ushuaia) with their epic closing party featuring my favourite band ever, The Prodigy, which left me feeling like I couldn’t possibly face another closing. 

But face it we did – because how could you NOT go out, when Carl Cox had invited Loco Dice to help him close his season at Space? When Fatboy Slim plays at Amnesia for the Together closing party – you just GO. And it would have been rude NOT to call in on Jamie Jones, as his third year in Paradise came to a close?

And then there’s the after parties. Or the after-after parties. Sven Väth at BEACHOUSE. Eeek – then Sven Väth at Km5. Carl Cox doing his funk and soul thing at Sands, while next door Jamie and co are smashing it out at BEACHOUSE. Over in Destino, Solomun is gearing up for his last hurrah (well, his last outdoor hurrah this week – he’s still got Pacha on Sunday and who knows where else he’ll crop up!). Whatever you want to call these, it’s like survival of the fittest in Ibiza at the moment… and there’s STILL TWO MORE WEEKS OF MADNESS TO GO!

In the coming week, my diary reads like this: Music On Closing, ANTS Closing, Glitterbox Closing, We Love… Sundays closing (always my favourite!), Cocoon Closing, Defected Closing, ENTER. closing – and that’s me taking it easy. There are at least another 10 closings you could add to that list… and the obligatory afters, and after-afters!

And then… there’s the big one. The final curtain call for each and every club. The (drum roll please) last week of the season. Starting with Ocean Beach Ibiza, followed by the combined spectacle of Supermartxe and Privilege, the mammoth all-day-(and-probably-night)-long Carola session at Ushuaia, the epic, epic cannot miss special closing set of Luciano at Amnesia’s famous closing fiesta, then straight to Rumors at BEACHOUSE Ibiza before braving the flight club car park arena of Space (and the rest!)..and here’s where we get to breathe (or sleep) for about three hours before heading to Circo Loco at DC10! Then (my personal fave), Next Wave at Sankeys with Ricardo Villalobos at the helm. Still not enough for you? Lucky, because the next day we have the closing of Destino, and (because Sankeys do always like to have the last word) backing up from Next Wave, Ibiza’s party hardiest will be out in force for the Sankeys official closing party on October 8.

But then there’s the after party. And the after-afters. Did I mention I have a full time job to fit in there too?

And then after THAT, we’ve got the winter openings to look forward to!