And the party of the year award goes to…

Although it’s only early June, I’m putting my cards on the table and saying I’ve been to the party of the year already. Because last Saturday night, the swish all-new 7Pines Kempinski Ibiza threw an opening unlike any other I’ve ever attended in Ibiza. Seriously. And I’ve been to a LOT of openings. It started out very civilised. A bunch of beautiful people in shiny cars being directed to extremely organised parking areas before following the charming winding paths (think Yellow Brick Road but in a pastel shade of terracotta) to the beat of bongo drums (from the genuine Benirras hippy drummers) into the striking lobby of the new resort – a space which opens out to one of the most breathtaking views of Es Vedra I have ever seen. The islet almost looked like it was floating on air, or superimposed on the horizon, so clear was the view (meanwhile, storms were hammering the other side of the island – it seemed these party organisers had paid off the man upstairs).

Speaking of floating on air, as the aforementioned beautiful people floated around sipping endless glasses of Veuve Clicquot and tucking into tasty bites sized canapes, air kissing their way through the crowds and towards a podium that had been erected in front of the view, a flying, tuxedo clad messenger – yes, a real live rocket man (hmmm, I feel a recurring Elton John sing theme here) – came whizzing through the air with a jetpack on his back to hand over an enormous pair of scissors to managing partners Kai Richter and Jörg Lindner and 7Pines Kempinski Ibiza managing director Markus Lück for the traditional snip of a giant ribbon to declare the venue open for business. And after a few more air kisses on that beautiful terrace, to the sounds of Ibiza legend Paco Fernandez, I started thinking to myself: Well, that was a very tame and quiet opening and started wondering what I would get for dinner on the drive home (having only consumed one glass of champagne – I would never drink and drive!). But at that point, beautiful (yes, everyone was beautiful – it was one of those nights) hostesses ushered us along another little brick road, across to another area of the hotel where the sweet, sweet smell of barbecue was wafting over the airwaves and the oh-so-Balearic sounds of iconic Ibiza DJ and godfather of chillout, Jose Padilla floated over the airwaves.

And as the sun went down, the party action heated up and in between endless bites of food from the barbecue (and I mean – this was no ordinary barbecue, this was next level stuff – like fresh grilled lobster burgers, premium beef fillet grilled and sliced to your liking – and even included a ceviche and foie gras bar) and more and more bubbles, we wandered around the grounds of the hotel, checking out what is guaranteed to become a true Ibiza destination in the coming few months. With two restaurants and a sleek cocktail and cigar bar designed by Pershing Yachts plus an epic spa with that million-dollar Es Vedra view, it is five-star luxury all the way. It’s also open to non-guests, which is great news as I plan to take up permanent residence at the Korean barbecue. Each of the restaurants were open to guests at the opening for the full dining experience (on the house of course!), which is pretty rare for an opening of this size and the ratio of staff to guests was also seriously impressive. As we wandered up the stairs to check out the upper deck dining space, my mind was well and truly blown by the experience of a real live Tinkerbelle floating up into the air above my head, flipping and twisting and twirling beneath what looked like a giant pink moon. The talented balloon aerialist continued to dazzle the crowd by dipping up and down and blowing kisses, waving and connecting (literally) with the people who were on her level upstairs. I could have gone home at that point completely happy.

But there was more to come and next up was a performance by the locally loved Ibiza House Orchestra. I have to admit – I’ve never seen these guys play live before and for the second time in about 30 minutes, my mind was blown. There’s really nothing like hearing those iconic bars from Fatboy Slim’s Right Here Right Now being performed live to bring a tear to your eye, and it just got better and better from there. I think I actually had a bit of an ‘Ibiza moment’ – and I could see all the guests who’d flown in from overseas sharing that moment with me (and their Instagram followers) at the same time. In true Ibiza style, the party just kept getting wilder (who WERE all these people? Especially the extraordinarily good looking and super tall Dutch man that many women were flocking to for selfies?) and all of a sudden, as DJ Fritz Kalkbrenner took to the decks, there were enormous fluorescent robots dancing through the crowd. I kid you not. Two stories high, controlled by some kind of whizz-bang puppetry (I’ve since found out they’re called Dundu dolls) – and they had the moves! If 7Pines Kempinski Ibiza have started the way they mean to go on, I can’t wait to experience it all once it’s officially operational next month.

In the meantime, if anyone plans on throwing a party that is bigger or better than this one, well, please do send me an invite and I’ll be happy to update this blog. But in all honesty… I think the award for 2018 party of the year has already been scooped up! Congratulations 7Pines Kempinski Ibiza! Photography by PHRANK and courtesy of 7Pines Kempinski Ibiza because I was far too busy having fun to be taking photos myself!